Zoids: The Parody Collection
by BlackBattousai
Summary: The best of my collection of song parodies sung by your favorite Zoids characters from all seasons!!
1. Intro: Track 01

Zoids: The Parody Collection

All parodies in this fic are written by The Black Blade Liger X…

…No suing please…I'm very poor…

DISCLAIMER: This is a collection of my best song parodies that I've written. I will post the name of the real song before the actual parody begins. I don't own the song, or the characters of Zoids. Now, enjoy the show!


	2. Track 02: I'm A Pyscho by Reese

Okay, this idea popped into my head for no reason whatsoever! I originally wanted to have Raven do this, but it just seems to much funnier with Reese!!

I'm an Asshole (The Reese Remix)

I'm a Psycho 

(Acoustic guitar starts playing)

Reese: (speaking): Folks, I'd like to sing a song,

About the Zoidian Dream,

About me, about you,

About the way my zoidian heart beats,

Way down in the bottom of my chest,

About that special feelin' I get in the cockle of my heart,

Maybe below the cockle,

Maybe in the sub-cockle area,

Maybe in the liver, maybe in the kindneys,

Maybe even in the colon,

I don't know…

(Starts singing)

I'm not your regular Joe,

I've got no regular job,

I'm your non-average white, zoidian slob,

I football, and bombs,

And books about war.

I bury dead bodies under,

A nice hardwood floor!

No life, an' no job,

Just a zoid for a car,

I kill people for money,

To pay for Hiltz's cigars!

But sometimes that just ain't enough!

To keep a gal like me interested!

(Raven: Oh no, No way, Uh-uh!)

Now I've gotta go out and have fun,

And blowin' things up!

(Raven: Oh yeah, yeah yeah! Yeah yeah yeah!)

I cause mass destruction,

In the ultra-fast lane,

People are dyin' in flames,

An' I'm goin' insane!

I'm psycho-ioioioioioiio!

I'm psycho!

(Raven: She's a psycho, such a psycho!)

I destroy public toilets,

And nuke most of the seats,

Then I laugh my head off,

When people die from the heat!

I'm psycho-ioioioioioiio!

I'm psycho!

(Raven: She's the world's biggest psycho!)

Sometimes I destroy,

All the Republican spaces,

While Republican people,

Make Republican faces!

I'm psycho-ioioioioioiio!

I'm psycho!

(Raven: She's a really fucking psychooooooo!)

Maybe I shouldn't be singin' this song,

I'm ranting and raving and carrying on!

Maybe Hiltz is right when he tell's me I'm wrong…

Pfft, nah!

I'm psycho-ioioioioioiio!

I'm psycho!

(Raven: She's the world's biggest psycho!)

Ya know what I'm gonna do?

I'm gonna go find Zoid Eve and paint it,

HOT PINK! With human bone headlights!

And all leather-cow interior,

With big brown baby dragon mouths for guns, yeah!

An' then I'm gonna cruise around in that baby,

And 615 miles per hour,

Getting' .5 miles per gallon!

Suckin' down human intestines from the Guardian Force,

In non-biodegradable Styrofoam containers!

And when I'm done suckin' down those intestines,

I'm gonna wipe my mouth with the Republican flag!

And toss those Styrofoam containers right out the side!

An' there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it!

Ya know why?!

'Cause I got da bombs, that's why!

Three words: Charged fuckin' Particle Gun, okay?!

Van, Fiona, Irvine,

They can have all the fuckin' zoids they want,

They could get a fuckin' Death Stinger,

And it won't make a lick of difference,

'Cause I got the guns, okay?!

An' Hiltz is a moron, Raven's a dipshit,

And when I find that stupid Zoid Eve, I'm goin' to actually kill them both!

An' then I'm gonna get a case of whisky,

And drive down to Texas and-

Raven: Hey, you know you really are a psycho?!

Reese: Just shut up an' sing the song idiot!

I'm psycho-ioioioioioiio!

I'm psycho!

(Raven: She's the world's biggest psycho!)

P-S-Y-C-H-O! EVERYBODY!

Everyone: P-S-Y-C-H-O!

(Long ass part on the acoustic guitar)

Reese: (speaking) I'm a psycho, and I'm proud of it…


	3. Track 03: Without Me by Bit Cloud

Without Me… 

(The Bit Cloud Remix)

Written by the insane mind of RavenZERO

He he! ^_^

That's right!  I've written another zoid's fic (P.S: I've written a lot more in my other one…) This is sung to the tune of Eminem's "Without Me."  Anywho, here ya go! (P.S The "Head ZBC Dude's" name is Dick Cheney in this fic!)

(Bit steps out of the Liger Zero, and stands in front of the zoid, holding a microphone.  Brad and Jamie both step out of their zoids, and Jamie stands behind a big pair of turntables.)

**1….2…Aw, what's the point?**

(Actual song begins to play, then the record skips, and plays this song…)

(Beat begins to play…)

**Bit:** Two banged-up zoids go 'round the outside…'round the outside…'round the outside!

(Chick-chick—wha!  Chigga-ga chick chick chick—wha!)

**Bit:** Two banged-up zoids go 'round the outside…'round the outside… 'round the outside!

(Chick-chick—wha!  Chigga-ga chick chick chick—wha!)

**Brad and Jamie:** (Complete with echoes) Guess who's back…back again…

Da Cloud's back…tell a friend!

(Gradually getting deeper) Guess who's back, Guess who's back, Guess who's back, Guess who's back, Guess who's back, Guess who's back, Guess who's back…. Bah Da Da!

Bah Bah Bah Bah Bah Bah…. Bah Da Da! Bah Bah Bah Bah Bah Bah….!

(**Liger Zero:** Roar!)

**Bit:** I've created a monster,

'cause nobody wants ta see Bit no more,

they want da Cloud, 'cause I chopped off Deniro,

well if ya want da Cloud,

dis' what I'll give ya,

a little bit a me mixed 'wit the Liger Zero!

(**LZ:** ROAR!)

**Bit:** Some battles'll jump-start Liger's heart quicker,

Then the shocks when he gets shocked at the auto shop,

By the Doctor when he's not co-operating,

When he's rockin' da table while he's operating!

(**Doc:** Hey!)

**Bit:** You waited 'dis long,

So stop debating,

'Cause I'm back in the cockpit,

While Leena's ovulating!

(**Leena:** I'll kill you!)

I know that you got a job Miss Cheney

But you're husband's weak heart, is complicating!

(**Head ZBC Dude:** BASTARD!)

Sooooo…

The ZBC won't let me be,

Or destroy lots 'o shit,

So let me see,

They tried to shut me down even on MTV,

But it'd feel so empty…

Without me, so…

C'mon an' fight!

I been shown the light!

(**Brad:** Fuck that!)

Ears'll rattle,

An' me n' Liger'll win 'dis battle,

So, get ready…

'Cause dis shit's about ta get heavy,

I just got all my heavy arsenals,

(**Jamie:** Fuck you, Harry!)

Now this looks like a job for me,

And everyone on the Blitz Team,

'Cause we need a lil'…prize money!

Plus, it'd feel so empty…without me!

I said this looks like a job for me,

An' everyone who battle'd me,

Had a lil' taste of controversy!

'Cause it'd feel so empty…without me!****

**Bit:** A funny lil' blight,

A kid shown the light,

Embarrassed, his parents still talked,

About Flyheight!

I was feelin' like a prisoner, helpless,

'Til Raven came along on a mission,

And yelled, "BITCH!"

A visionary, a vision that scared me!

He started a revolution, pollutin' my airwaves,

He's a rebel,

So let me revel in the an' bask,

In the fact,

That every warrior's kissin' my ass!

And it's a disaster,

Such a catastrophe,

For Leena to see so damn much of my ass,

She asked for me?

Well, I'm back!

(**Jamie:** Duh nuh nanananana!)

Fix yer tuna and stick back up ya butta!

An' to the Backdraft I'm in their skin,

Like a splinter,

The center of attention,

Back for da winter!

I'm interesting! The best thing since wrestling!

Infesting, in Harry's zoids an' nesting!

(**Brad:** Testing, Attention Please!)

I feel da tension,

Soon as someone mentions me,

Here's my ten cents,

My two cents is free,

A new sense,

Who sent?

**You** sent for me?

Now this looks like a job for me,

And everyone on the Blitz Team,

'Cause we need a lil'…prize money!

Plus, it'd feel so empty…without me!

I said this looks like a job for me,

An' everyone who battle'd me,

Had a lil' taste of controversy!

'Cause it'd feel so empty…without me!****

Tisk or task that,

I'll go tit for tat wit',

Any zoid team talkin' this shit that shit!

Jack Sisaskwik,

You could get ya ass kicked,

Worse then them little robotic Champ Team bastards!

And Naomi?

I saw, you got stoned with Moby!

You twenty-six year old sexy ass bitch, blow me!

You don' know me,

Leon's too old, let go,

It's over, 'cause only Leon listens to Techno!

Now let's go,

Jus' gimme da signal,

I'll be there wit',

A whole list fulla new insults!

I been don', suspenseful wit' a pencil!

Ever since Jamie's Raynos became a symbol!

But sometimes it just seems,

Everybody wants to discuss me,

So this must mean Liger's disgusting,

But it's just me; I'm just obscene!

(**Brad:** Duh!)

But I ain't the first King of Controversy,

I am the worst thing since the Raven Derby!

To use my zoid so selfishly,

An' use it to get myself wealthy!

Hey! There's a concept that works!

Twenty million other zoid battlers emerge!

But no matter how may fish is in the sea,

It'd be so empty without me!

Now this looks like a job for me,

And everyone on the Blitz Team,

'Cause we need a lil'…prize money!

Plus, it'd feel so empty…without me!

I said this looks like a job for me,

An' everyone who battle'd me,

Had a lil' taste of controversy!

'Cause it'd feel so empty…without me!****

Duh, na na na na na na! Na na na na na! Na na na na na! Na na na nuh!

Duh, na na na na na na! Na na na na na! Na na na na na! Na na na nuh!

*After dodging all the gunfire being shot at him* Okay, that was strange…I will never do that again…BIT SUCKS! *Bit is then killed* MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


	4. Track 04: Pretty Fly for a Blonde Guy

Yep! I've written another one!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! I SHALL RULE ALL THE LAND WITH PARODIES MAKING FUN OF BIT!! MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

(Bit magically appears)

Bit: Hey, that's mean!!

Me: Bug off. Here's a cookie…

Bit: COOKIE!!

(Bit grabs the cookie, and runs away)

Me: Thank god…

Nikita: Lucky for me, I am unaffected by that trick!

(A pizza pie magically appears)

Nikita: PIZZA!!

(He runs off to eat his pizza…)

Me: Okay then… o_O;;…uh, anyway, on with the fic!

P.S: Obviously, I don't own zoids, or else I would be king of the world! Also, I have nothing against the gay community; I just had to use that word because it rhymes. IT'S THEIR CHOICE SO LAY OFF DAMMIT!!!!  I HAVE NO OPINION ON THAT MATTER!!

Pretty Fly (For a Blonde Guy)

(Sung by Brad Hunter)

(Brad appears magically with an electric guitar slung over his shoulder, and Leena behind him with a drum set, and Naomi with a bass.)

Brad: Ah one! Ah two! Ah one two three-

Leena: SHUT UP AND SING ALREADY DUMBASS!!

Brad: *now shuddering in fear* Sheese, fine, whatever…

(BEGIN!!!)

Naomi: Give it to me, baby!

Brad: Uh, huh! Uh, huh!

Naomi: Give it to me, baby!

Brad: Uh, huh! Uh, huh!

Naomi: Give it to me, baby!

Brad: Uh, huh! Uh, huh!

Leena: And all the girlies say, he's pretty fly for a blonde guy…

(Brad starts the guitar riff)

Brad: Uno dos, tres, quattro, cinco cinco, uh…

Brad: Ya know he's kinda pissed off,

Tryin' to find a life today!

This subject sure ain't cool,

But Bit thinks it anyway!

He don't have a clue and,

He sure is lackin' style,

But for everything he lacks,

He has double of denial!!

All: So please refrain,

Ya "playa straight!"

Brad: I think he really doesn't get it anyway!

All: He's gonna try an' blow up the field!

Try to keep it real!

For you no way! For you no way!

Brad: I think really think,

He's tryin' to compensate!

Naomi: For somethin' goin' on,

Inside of his prostate!!

Brad: The world hates wannabes—a!

All: Hey! Hey! Kill that stupid thing!

Leena: Give it to me, baby!

Brad: *slightly disturbed tone* Uh, huh! Uh, huh!

Leena: Give it to me, baby!

Brad: Uh, huh! Uh, huh!

Leena: Give it to me, baby!

Brad: Uh, huh! Uh, huh!

And all the girlies say, he's pretty fly,

Naomi and Leena: …For a blonde guy…

Brad: He thinks he's really cool,

But, his treads, they just ain't nice!

So one day, I told him,

"Bit, your clothes! They really bite!!"

Now crusin' in the Liger,

He found some mercenaries as he passed,

Since his run-in with those bastards,

He has a boot shoved up his ass!!

All: So please refrain,

Ya "playa straight!"

Brad: I think he really doesn't get it anyway!

All: He's gonna try an' blow up the field!

Try to keep it real!

For you no way! For you no way!

Brad: I think really think,

He's tryin' to compensate!

Naomi: For somethin' goin' on,

Inside of his prostate!!

Brad: The world hates wannabes—a!

All: Hey! Hey! Kill that stupid thing!

(Guitars now calming down a bit.)

Brad: Now's he getting' some new armor,

He's getting' himself some,

He asked for one in green,

But they gave him the only pink one!

I said he's tryin' to hard,

And he's way far off from hip!

But in his pea-brained mind,

He's the! He's the coolest dick!

(Guitars pick up again)

Naomi: Give it to me, baby!

Brad: Uh, huh! Uh, huh!

Naomi: Give it to me, baby!

Brad: Uh, huh! Uh, huh!

Naomi: Give it to me, baby!

Brad: Uh, huh! Uh, huh!

(Brad starts the guitar riff)

Brad: Uno dos, tres, quattro, cinco cinco, uh…

All: So please refrain,

Ya "playa straight!"

Brad: I think he really doesn't get it anyway!

All: He's gonna try an' blow up the field!

Try to keep it real!

For you no way! For you no way!

Brad: I think really think,

He's tryin' to compensate!

Naomi: For somethin' goin' on,

Inside of his prostate!!

Brad: The world hates wannabes—a! The world hates wannabes--a!

LET'S KILL ALL THE WANNABE'S--A!!!

All: Hey! Hey! Kill that stupid thing!

That's all from my demented mind! Until next time, this is The Black Blade Liger X(King of France), saying, "REVIEW DAMMIT!!!"


	5. Track 5:Fell In Love with a Girl by Brad

Black: Here's an old one: people might remember this one from Galux Kitty's "Zoids Karaoke" fic. Well, I submitted this to the fic, so yeah.

Brad: Yeah, and I get to sing! ALRIGHT!!

Naomi: Oh, I'm so happy!

Nikita: I'm gonna hurl…

Black: OK, Brad, get up there, and show 'em what's what!

(Scene opens up on Brad with an electric guitar and Leena on a drum set behind him)

(Ah, one, two, ah one two three YEAH!)

(Intro guitar riff starts)

Brad: Fell in love with a girl,

Fell in love once with a one-time rival!

She ain't in love with the world!

Now this chick is essential to my survival!

She turns an' says "Are you alright?"

I said I must be fine 'cause my hearts still beatin'!

She came an' kissed me by the riverside, yeah!

Doc said its fine he don' consider it cheatin' now!

Red hair wit' no curl,

With her zoid fulla flavor an' her eyes reflecting!

I can't keep away from this girl,

Now botha our teams need ta have a meeting!

Can't thinka anythin' to do, yeah!

My Shadow Fox thinks that my love is fleeting!

She ain't lookin' for nothin' new, yeah!

Said it once before with that bass repeatin' now!

(AHHHH!! AHAAHOO! AAAHAAA!! AAHAAHOO!)

Can't thinka anythin' to do, yeah!

My Shadow Fox thinks that my love is fleeting!

She ain't lookin' for nothin' new, yeah!

Said it once before with that bass repeatin' now!

Fell in love with a girl,

Fell in love once with a one-time rival!

She ain't in love with the world!

Now this chick is essential to my survival!

She turns an' says "Are you alright?"

I said I must be fine 'cause my hearts still beatin'!

She came an' kissed me by the riverside, yeah!

Doc said its fine he don' consider it cheatin' now!

(AHHHH!! AHAAHOO! AAAHAAA!! AAHAAHOO!)

Can't thinka anythin' to do, yeah!

My Shadow Fox thinks that my love is fleeting!

She ain't lookin' for nothin' new, yeah!

Said it once before with that bass repeatin' now!

(BAWW!!! ((That's the final guitar strum)))

Black: That's all!

Brad: I'm so amazing!

Naomi: Oh, Brad, that was the greatest love song ever! (hugs him)

Brad: (choking) Yeah…t-thanks…


	6. Author's Note

Author's Note: I know that in a few of my parodies it says written by RavenZERO, and that it doesn't match my pename. Well, that was my old pename, before I changed it to BBLX. Anyway, that's all!


	7. Track 06: Kill It by Raven

Raven appears on stage with a guitar and a microphone in front of him.  The other lead male characters in Guardian Force, Van, Irvine, Karl, Thomas, Prozen, and Hiltz are in the back as back up singers.

(A/N: This was written by fellow Zoid fic writer, Red Phoenix. I didn't write it, so bug off!  A parody to Garbage's song, "Push It", this is sung by the Zoidian band, Trash, and is called "Kill It".)

**Kill it**

Raven: I was angry when I met you

And now I'm angry still

We won't try to talk it over

Even if you say you'll help me out

Raven: Start worrying baby

Van and Karl: (Start worrying baby)

Raven: We need to fight

Start worrying baby

Van and Karl: (Start worrying baby)

Raven: You won't be alright

Raven: This is the noise that keeps me awake

My head explodes and my body aches

Kill it

Makes the bombs blast louder

Kill it

Make the bombs blast louder

Raven: I'm not sorry that I hurt you

Please don't ask me why

I want to see you unhappy

I don't want to see you shine

Raven: Start worrying baby

Thomas and Irvine: (Start worrying baby)

Raven: You'll be uptight

Start worrying baby

Thomas and Irvine: (Start worrying baby)

Raven: You'll be up all night

Raven: This is the voice that keeps me awake

My head explodes and my body aches

Kill it

Makes the bombs blast louder

Kill it

Make the bombs blast louder

Raven: Come on kill it

You can do it

Come on prove it

Nothing to it

Come on use it

Let's get through it

Come on kill it 

You can do it

Raven: Start worrying baby

Hiltz and Prozen: (Start worrying baby)

Raven: You'll be uptight

Start worrying baby

Hiltz and Prozen: (Start worrying baby)

Raven: You'll be up all night

Raven: This is the noise that keeps me awake

My head explodes and my body aches

Kill it

Make the bombs blast louder

Kill it 

Thomas and Karl: This is the noise that keeps me awake 

Raven: Make the bombs blast harder.

Kill it 

Van and Irvine: My head explodes and my body aches

Raven: Make the bombs blast louder

Raven: Start worrying baby

It won't be alright

Start worrying baby

It won't be alright

Kill it

Kill it

Kill it

Kill it

Kill it…


End file.
